I haven't done a Tuesday List day in quite a few months. I started them because I have always been drawn toward lists. I have boxes of journals with favorite stars list like "why I like Wonder Woman" (written in the 70's) and list of fake stars phone numbers that I would dial on my pretend phone. I would speak to the Ralph Macchio for hours on end. It amused me and kept me in touch with my imaginative side. My list matured as I grew older. When I was single and lived a very lonely life at a harborside town of Aberdeen Wa, in a going-nowhere job, I would write a list of characteristics for my dream man who would one day come and sweep me off my feet. Who would know that this indeed would happen although I didn't realize I would have to go to Chicago to find him. After I married David, my list started to center around projects in the house or places in the UK I wanted to visit. Or list of what to buy when I would go thrifting. Each time we would sell a house, which as I've mentioned before was more often than not, I would make a list of all the things we had to do before it went on the market. Things that I would later ask myself why we didn't do while we lived in the house to enjoy them.
When I was sorting through a box in the basement yesterday, I came across another list. It was dated July 25th, 2001. We were living in Herndon, Virginia just about 20 minutes from D.C. at this time. It was very hard to practice attachment parenting there. We were definitely not normal and wearing my sling would bring curious looks from some people. Here in Seattle, slings are as common as lattes and I am seeing more Sling Dads than ever. Maybe slings are more common now in all areas of the country. But at the time, the natural parents really stuck together in order to survive. I longed for community, my own tribe and space. I was desperate to recreate my childhood for my children, one where I grew up on 40 acres and had so much room to explore and play.
When I had written this list we had just returned home from a visit to the UK. Or actually I think we might have been in the UK when I wrote this as Keiran was conceived right around this time. Cerys and I went to this beautiful town Stroud by train and found a book called "Springing Forward". It is published by Hawthorne Press which also publishes a lot of fantastic Waldorf Books like this one that really influenced our entire parenting style. I still get goose bumps just reflecting back to when I first discovered this book. For anyone interested in Waldorf education or a Waldorf inspired lifestyle, I would highly recommend this. Back to the other book that influenced my list. Springing Forward is about making dreams come true. I am such a strong believer of making wishes and striving toward goals and dreams. Maybe it was being raised on those 40 acres, maybe it was because my mother let me play to my hearts content in the dirt or maybe it was growing up with 2 older brothers who left me on my own to play. Somewhere along the line I found a stubborn streak and a will to not give up until I have what I am searching for. When I read this list that I made, I couldn't believe how many of these items came true. I was covered in goose bumps as my eyes read each wish. Here is my list from 5 years ago.
To have a Homestead of 5 acres
To live on the West Coast of the US
To live close to my family
To love my daughter and husband unconditionally
To have an old home - possibly 100 years old
To build it as eco-friendly with solar electricity, heating etc.
To have my children to attend a Waldorf School
To live a Waldorf Lifestyle
To live in a small town and know everyone
To learn about herbalism and natural healing
To own less
To be organized and tidy
To become a good seamstress and make children's clothing
To have an internet business
To excel in Families for Natural Living (non-profit organization)
To live near my mother
To start up or belong to a L.E.T.S. group
To own chickens
To eat organic and healthy
To buy large quantity of our things 2nd hand
To have time to myself to work on crafts, reading, holistic medicine
To keep fit and trim
To build a large garden with herbs, veg & fruit, greenhouse
Learn to spin wool and dye wool naturally
Learn wood working to make my own furniture
To become self-sufficient
To have a claw foot tub
To travel eco-friendly
To sum it up there are 28 wishes on this list. I think that I have accomplished around 19 of these and I'm still on my way to working on the rest. I am not sure if I'm keen to do woodworking anymore. I enjoy taking something thrifting and changing it much more than bringing out the jigsaw. Okay and I soooo have to work on getting fit. Before I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I weighed 110 and after going off gluten my body took advantage of finally digesting food and nutrients and I gained 20 pounds. Now I have to work much harder to keep fit than before. But if I don't stay off gluten it will eventually kill me which would kind of be a downer.
I also don't have the 5 acres. I had to settle for 1/2 an acre. But there has to be a compromise somewhere, even with dreams. I can't wish to live in the city and have 10 acres unless I am Bill Gates but he just bought the hood which I'm not sure if that is the same thing. But I'm very happy with the land we have and it has so much potential. If anything the hold up of our dreams has to do with the work on our house and our land. Maybe if I look back at this list in 5 years or even 10 years than I will have nearly achieved everything. But to add perspective to the list, 9 1/2 years ago we were in debt for at least $12,000 as well as having our mortage.
*Keiran and I at Cannon Beach (waving to Paula) on our research trip of the Northwest. We were interested in Seattle, Portland and Corvallis OR.) It was an amazing trip. Being a Goonies fan I especially love this picture.
I really wanted to share my list so that you too might be inspired to write down your dreams/goals/wishes/prayers. Having our dreams in our heads isn't always enough. I would suggest taking some of your dreams and writing them down on paper. Even if your dreams are to fold the laundry every night. If you want, create one that is altered art, then frame it and hang it on a wall that you see every day. I haven't looked at my list in years but in my heart I was slowly
if not painfully following those dreams one by one. Some of these dreams have cost us a lot of money. We bought a house when we moved here and in 2 months I felt it wasn't the right home. I blame it on my nesting self. It was modern and perfect and there was nothing for us to do. We sold it a year later having lost some money. But the timing was right to find this house. Even though it hurt our bank account, it was really worth it. We finally found our home.
If you do happen to write a list of dreams and want to share them on your blog or with me, I'd love to hear them. If you are already a list maker and have achieved some or all of them, I'd love to hear that too.