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« the newness of the new year | Main | sleeping »

January 16, 2009



I'm wishing you luck on any pursuit you embark on. And love the posts here when you feel the desire.


Good luck with it all. I am feeling the need for a new work world. What I would give to have a book shop (although I really don't know anything about it!).


Well, that explains it. I wondered why your blog posts had been a little less frequent. At least I can stop worrying about you. I hope you keep blogging, but if you take a break, at least I know where to find you.


Thank you for sharing this post. I have never heard the term "Scanner" before, it is comforting to hear myself explained so well. It's nice to know I'm not the only one... Good luck on your journey.


I think I could has written that.. except I never worked at a Cemetary, though I did live next to one for a few year. And I have never sold books only horded and loved them.

perhaps I will have a clear out of my head and heart on my blog and see if it changes anything going on in my life...

I think you would be brilliant at a finder service... what a great idea short of starting up your own estate sale company... though I file that idea away for future oppertunities you never know.

I'm so glad that you joined my swap last summer and we became friends though emails, chats, and Joss Whedon. I look forward to your blog posts whenever you write them for your wit, wisom, and thrifty finds.

have a lovely weekend!


p.s. sorry for the horrible typing. *blush*


I just finished my first year of being self-employed after working for someone else for the last 11 years. I learned that I'm definitely not the most disciplined person when left to my own devices. I also do well when given a list of tasks or being told what to do and I'm good to go. Last year was one of the hardest yet the most rewarding as I learned a lot about myself in the process.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning ready to take off in 5 directions at once. Each direction has its own sense of urgency and importance and it is hard to decide which to do first.

I'm also striving for a sense of balance and focus this year. In my head, I know and can see what I need to do for everything to fall into place. I'm still working on the execution of it all. I look forward to seeing how far you go this year. All the best. :)


I hear you loud and clear sister. :) I believe you should just run with what makes you happy, and not worry about the rest. We'll all be here, enjoying reading about what you're up to from time to time.

Jessica Thompson

You must must must check out the book The Renaissance Soul!

I'm not going to be dramatic and say it saved my life or anything, but it did help me get a better idea of what to do and feel less confused and lost.

Amy Zimmer

Hi Selena,

You are a beautiful writer. You have the great workings of a memior here. And we will all be lined up to read it.

I had that pressure when I turned 40. And then guess what? I decided I liked me and I was less anxious about how I appear on the outside. It is very brave of you to share the workings of your mind and give us a chance to empathize and feel safe. You are gifted in many, many ways (I think you know that). I am so hopeful for you.

Lots and lots of love to you, Amy


From one Scanner to another. Blessings!


This was funny. Almost a year ago I did the same thing. I woke up went to blog and was done. I deleted my blog and don't miss any of it. I started a job I was terrified to do. I took it because I was so scared. Today. I would work there for free if I could afford it. Who knew. It was not anything I would have picked. I just got home and found myself missing my creative blogs I used to go visit. You were one of them. LOL thanks for sharing. Blessings to the future you.


I know the feeling. I have been a Waldorf teacher and suddenly my path is shifting. A little focus would be really helpful right about now!


i so understand, best of luck to you selena. be here when you can, or when you're inspired. i always tell people "i can only do one thing well at a time" - maybe i'm a scanner too...

i think it's wonderful to grow and change and evolve and succeed and fail and pick yourself up again. really, i do, all of it has a purpose.


thank you for sharing. I feel that way too. In all honesty, I want to stay home. I want to be a stay at home wife. I think we could make it if I stopped working but it would be a struggle...especially with my eye condition.

When my husband and I moved from Lubbock to San Antonio in May of 2003, I was going to stay home. When June came, I felt so un-focused. I am a person that needs structure. I have to know what I am going to do next, so the staying at home idea went out the window. Now I am wishing that I had stayed home to work on making jewelry. I'm 45 years old and I still don't know what I want to be. I love my job and I guess I'll retire there but in my heart I want to create my jewelry. I do sell pieces here and there to a clientele of eight and I do make enough to buy some spetacular purses (my fetish) or sock enough away for a rainy day.

I think we should do what we are desiring at the moment. I sometimes come across blogs that have those buttons that say "Blogging without Obligation". I don't think people should put those on their blogs. I don't think they should feel obligated to do that at all. Yes, we do become attached to each others blogs and when someone has not posted for a long while it's normal to wonder if that person is all right or doing well. I just keep going back to check if there is anything new. People sometimes need to re-charge their batteries and get a new perspective..a new outlook. I was gone for almost a year from blogging. It can be done. When you start feeling pressured about posting or it's becoming a bore...stop. Re-focus.

What I like about you Selena, is that I know when I come here, I am getting honest feelings and thoughts. Somehow your typed posts come across as soft spoken words. I like everything about you and your blog. I know that you will be a success at whatever you choose to do in your life.

Deanna :)


Oh Selena,
I know SO what you mean! I worked and worked on the dolls I was going to sell on Etsy and my own website, they are now finished (7 and two small ones) and they're just sitting there. I lost all desire to work on a website or an Etsy shop to actually sell them. It's like the air flows out of a balloon. I would be fine with whatever happens to that project of mine right now, although I'm still hoping the flame might flare up again like with your bookselling.
The advice of your consultant is good, to focus, I tell myself that all the time, but I also like what it said in the book (Refuse to Choose): go with whatever has your fancy at the time, it's ok! It felt like such a relief to me when I could finally give myself permission to just let it be ok if I stopped liking something. I kept beating myself up over failed projects and things I never finished, telling myself I was a failure or a quitter. To change that was big for me, and also knowing that I can adjust, go back or redo anytime. Nothing is set in stone, I tell myself that every day and it feels really good!
I miss your posts when you don't write because I recognize so much of what you say, and I'm curious to know what you're up to, but that doesn't count for anything. You must do what you heart tells you!

PS: I also have this tendency to dream big, always have.


Well I don't think you are alone in being a scanner. I know that I get very excited about new projects but often lose the motivation before I get things off the ground. It is good to hear from you, as you always tell it truthfully. Happy focusing in 2009. Tracey


thanks so much for sharing and your honesty !! Have you ever considered selling your knowledge of selling books on line, I certainly would be interested in buying :) Blessings to you and your family.

pat griffith

I can relate to your situation. I jump around with my pursuits. right now my work studio/craft room is as cluttered as my mind.
OK my garage is too. many unfinished projects yet I hop into something new. I am so full of ideas, so many things I want to do. I was wanting to look into an professional organizer.

barbara brown

man, i could put the majority of your post on my blog and it would be just like i wrote it myself. your thoughts resonate so clearly with me. i'm glad you were able to put your thoughts into writing so clearly and find a conclusion. it sounds like you found a good fit.

barbara brown

i forgot to put my URL when i left my comment.


Selena, I totally relate to your butterfly nature, flitting from one thing to another. I love variety and newness and a challenge. Once I've designed or perfected or altered a project or a focus in my life, I'm ready to move on to something new. I'm trying to focus that variety into my writing, and sometimes it works out better than others. At one time I thought I should become an actress because there were so many jobs I wanted to do and things I wanted to experience that I figured the only one job where I could do it all (at least pretend to!) was acting! Trouble is, I have terrible stagefright. So I wish you the best of luck with your path, whatever it is. I can relate.


good luck Selena
for whatever kind of life you choose to pursue and develop
always be kind to yourself and honor your passions
fellow scanner here!



Reading this made me think, this is me. Yes I too am a scanner and it is coming close to the time when my littlest will start school and I need to think of what I am going to do. I have so many ideas and I too need to focus.
I wish you luck and can't wait to read about what you do and how you get there. Please give me hope that I too could focus!

mama nurture

Ugh--I'm SUCH a scanner. Just finished law school, but have no desire to do anything related to law whatsoever...I am constantly coming up with ideas and new passions and then I quickly find myself back as square one. Consider yourself lucky that you can at least make money when you apply yourself! I am a non-earning scanner...

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