I've struggled to put into words about last Friday's tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. Yet at the same time I can't ignore something so painful by posting about thrift share finds on Monday. So I just kept my thoughts in my head until I was ready.
The thoughts though were not necessarily about the tragedy, about mental health or about gun control but instead I thought about my children and our family. I think many parents thought immediately of their own children. My facebook was filled with moms wanting to hug their children and have them home with them instead of away at school. When I went to pick up Keiran, I specifically got out of the van in the pickup lane and gave him the warmest hug that I could. It felt so good to know that he was safe and his heart was beating strong.
This also made me reflect on my life choice of parenting and my choice of business. We knew early on that I wanted to spend as much time with the children as possible, especially when they were young. I didn't personally want someone else to raise them. So we lived frugally and made choices that allowed me to be home with them.
Being a ReSeller came after this decision. I had no idea that my passion would create a job that would in fact give me so much freedom to raise my children. This last summer through my mom's sickness and then the grief of her death, I practically took the entire summer off. I spent the time in sadness, spending it with the children and found ways to heal my heart.
This sometimes-hard-to-describe business gives us such freedom. At any time, I can stop what I'm doing by way of work and look after my children. I can care for them when they are sick, take them to the beach spontaneously or spend 3 weeks on the road thrifting through California if I decided to do so.
Their childhood goes so quickly. I've been told that by older people since Cerys was born. I have really tried to treasure each moment with them. And when I heard on the news that so many little children were taken away too soon, it made me grateful of every second that I've spent with Cerys and Keiran.
Blessing to all who died last Friday at Sandy Hook school, blessings to the community surrounding the school, blessing to my two bookseller friends that live in Newtown and the next town over and blessing to all of you with hurting hearts from this tragedy.
Here is melody that I want to share from my favorite composer Michelle Mclaughlin called The Music Box Angel. The beauty of it is very healing to me.